September 2005. I went to see Mom once or twice a week after dad died. I had been there on Saturday and now it was Wednesday and time to go again. But when I called her, there was no answer, very unusual, she always answered. I called several times before leaving and still no answer. My blood ran cold. I went to use my cell phone but it was dead and had been for a few days. I put it on the car charger and started up the parkway to mom's house. When the phone started charging, I saw a phone message from my brother, who called mom twice a week. The message was from Sunday and it said the phone rang and rang and no answer and he did not have the time to try again (Katrina had just hit, and he lived near New Orleans) so had his own pressing problems. He did not call my house phone where I would have gotten the message.
I got to mom's house in a real panic by now, and the door was locked. I had a key for the inside door but not for the screen door. I kept calling on my cell and could hear the phone ringing inside. I ran to my trunk and got out a screwdriver and proceeded to remove the screen door, all the while hearing the phone ringing.
I finally got inside, no mom. Her walker was outside the bathroom door, but when I went in I did not see her. I searched the whold house calling/crying. Finally I said, take a deep breath and think calmly. The walker was in front of the bathroom, she must be in the bathroom. When I went all the way in, I suddenly looked down into the bath tub. There she lay in the dry bathtub. There was no visible life, I called and cryed, "mommy, mommy", no response. For some reason I touched her and she weakly opened her eyes. She was alive! I comforted her for a few seconds and then ran to the phone to dial 411. Fast forward to the hospital, they said she was in very serious condition, very dehydrated, kidney function down to 5% and not expected to survive the night. Fast forward, she survived the night and several more nights, they called her their miracle lady. She complained of pain in her stomach but they poo pooed it off until finally after day 4 they took a cat scan of her stomach area. They saw what they thought was a growth and asked permission to operate. Of course, I gave that permission. Turned out her appendix had ruptured, probably 8 days ago when she was in the bathroom and the pain caused her to fall into the tub where she could not get out. They operated and removed the appendix. She fully recovered, again miracle lady. Unfortunately the had put her on a blood thinner because of clots in her legs from the fall, and they had to take her off for the operation. They failed to put her back on after the operation and a couple of days later she had a stroke. They did not notice she had a stroke until my brother (who had come up from LA) and I pointed it out to them. The stroke left her paralyed on the right side. This was the beginning of her downfall. She went to a nusing home for rehab, but declined steadily after that. I had started to add on to my house to bring her to live with me before this happened and I continued with the construction. She was in the nursing home for a few months, about 4. I had promised her long ago that I would not leave her in a nursing home. So I arranged to have a nurses aide stay with her 24/7 at her home until mine was ready. The construction took forever, the builder stalled and stalled and did not rush. Finally in November 2006, I told the builder and the township inspector that I was moving my mom in for Thanksgiving, whether the house was ready or not. The inspector said he would issue a temporary 90 day permit. So I moved her in a few days before Thanksgiving. She enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with us. A few weeks later she started to not recognize me and to sleep a lot and her appetite diminished. I called the visiting doctor. He said she could live for a few more years, BUT he would not be surprised if I called him any day to say she had passed. He said she would fall into a coma like state and recommended that I keep her comfortable and let her die at home with family. My other choice would be to get her to the emergency room where they would stuff tubes into her and prolong her existance a few weeks or months, but not her quality of life. She passed into a coma a few days after his visit, 2 days before Christmas. On Christmas afternoon, I went into her room to see if I could bring her to the dinner table. She was wide awake and cognizant. She knew who I was and understood everything. She had labored breathing and breathing was very difficult for her. I ran and gave her one of her Christmas presents, a musical cookie tin. We played it and I asked her, "isn't that pretty"? She said yes. I told her I love her and wanted her to live with me forever, but she had to do whats right for her. Did she understand? She said yes and that she loved me too, then she closed her eyes and passed away. That was Chr4istmas afternoon, 2006. I'm glad I was with her and had those precious years. She is missed terribly and always will be.
I will post her final pictures when I can and also try to finish some of the years in between.
I love you MOM.
